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Behind the Music: "READY 4 ME" ....a.k.a. Commitment-phobes LOVE me. :-) |
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Wednesday, 07 July 2010 23:39 |
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Commitment-phobes LOVE me. :-)
I can count the number of serious, long term relationships I've had as an adult on one hand. Actually, I can count them on no hands...I haven't had ANY.
It's certainly not because I haven't wanted it-- my parents have been married for at least 45 years, so it's familiar to me and I would love to experience it.
But there seems to be something about ME that in the past has always attracted the man that WANTS to love me so deeply he gets confused... and often he feels our connection is SO right that he WANTS to attach himself and be with me.. maybe even for the REST of his life.... well sorta.. ALMOST... you know, "One Day". Just not right now...
AND THEN HE RUNS LIKE HELLl!
So I let go....And then he doesn't want me to let go.
But then he won't let go.......but he doesn't want to go forward.
THUS.. the cycle begins.
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PRINCE........................ forever. |
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Wednesday, 07 July 2010 21:43 |
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This is the first picture I ever saw of Prince.....
I was VERY young, but I can still remember like it was yesterday. I was certainly too young to really understand and express then what the picture made me feel-- but I do remember knowing that my life had changed at that very moment.
I know what you're probably thinking, but it wasn't quite THAT kind of feeling...
What I felt didn't seem tied to the fact that the beautiful man with the beautiful hair was "naked" (it all seemed very innocent to me), or even that he rode an enchanted "winged horse" which I later found out was nothing more than a mythical, magical creature that didn't really exist... Those things never occurred to me one way or another. It was a FREEDOM I saw reflected back at me from the picture, and other things that came alive inside when I looked at it... This man in the picture made SENSE to me.
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 I saw my friend Joseph last Friday.
I took this picture because I never know if or when I will see him again.He's homeless. Two years ago, this man helped change a part of me like you wouldn't imagine.
I first met him about 10 years ago, walking around in midtown one freezing winter night with my friend Anthony (Hamilton)--who's probably one of the kindest, most generous souls I know--so when Anthony introduced me to "his friend, Joseph" I knew the guy had to be special. Anthony spotted Joseph on the corner, and convinced him to come inside for coffee before taking him next door to buy a winter coat. Joseph was very thankful... and he had honest eyes. He didn't say very much, but he nodded often. And he never smiled and rarely made eye contact, but you always knew he was listening.
His spirit (and their friendship) touched me, and I often wondered after that night how Joseph was. Anthony's career took off soon after, and I didn't get to see or speak with him much anymore to ask. I did happen to see Joseph a few more times over the years though, crossing the street carrying his things. His passings were quick and always random, and I was always very happy inside that he was ok, but I was usually too nervous and afraid to approach and say hi for some reason...I don't know why. And he always made it easy not to, because he never made eye contact...
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